Archive | February, 2015

Cataloguing the Cold :: Sensual

It has been snowing for weeks here in New England. Most of us are sick of it. We are impatiently waiting for The Great Thaw.

I do not like the cold (I have circulatory problems), but I am also tired of hating it. I wanted to remember what I like about the cold (because in August, cold is delicious).

The Sensual Catalog of Cold Delights

A cold beer after yard work
The first snow on my face
The spray of apple just behind my teeth as I bite down
Joyfully cold lips of my snow-flinging daughter on my heated cheek
The heavy, black sound of snowstorms at night (knowing we are safe and warm)

The brace of cold as I leave the shower in June
A cool washcloth on my feverish head
The slow slide of drops from the melting icicle
Dropping into the cool lake water
Chocolate chip mint ice cream

winter snowy beach with summer-like sunset by Kristin Statser Emmett

Winter beach, summer sky.   Kristin Statser Emmett. 2015.


A very cold shower in mid-August
The moment between day clothes and pajamas
The shock to my skin when he pulls back the covers (and then blankets me with his body)
His tongue in my mouth, after the whiskey
His determined shoveling, to keep us safe

The soft, white cool of fans rippling air across our bodies
Ocean sand under my feet, playing tag with the waves
The feel of his cold hand under my shirt and how my nipples awaken
Pulling cold water into my mouth as I sweat and run
The one white snowflake on the red wool mitten




That ‘someone.’

I should have posted this before Valentine’s Day- but I just like this idea. So, I’m posting it now. No fucks given.



There is an interesting phenomenon in songs from many different eras and genres: the ‘someone’ song.

This archetypal song describes an anonymous ‘someone’ or ‘somebody’ but with features and qualities so clear, we know the lyricist is describing a very particular person.

It’s a genre I’m drawn to because of the mystery and the clarity combined.

We’ve all had (or have) a someone, and these songs express both the universality of that wanting state and the uniqueness of their somebody.

We start off with the famous Depeche Mode song, Somebody.

“I want somebody to share,
share the rest of my life
know my innermost thoughts,
and my intimate details…

She will listen to me
when I want to speak
about the world we live in
and life in general.

Though my views may be wrong
they may even be perverted
she’ll hear me out
and won’t easily be converted…”

‘Somebody,’ Depeche Mode

I think we can be quite sure Martin Gore has already met the woman he is describing in this song. Perhaps not, perhaps she does remain imaginary, but this is not just ‘any woman’ he is seeking. She is special.


“Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..”

‘Someone Like You,’ Adele

Adele is looking for something slightly different- for someone like you. I admire Adele’s honesty, but we know…the generic someone will never equal the particular ‘you.’ You’re it for her. And her heart still bleeds for you, so beautifully.

Bryan Adams may be the most honest of the bunch. He knows what he’s looking for: a connection.

“I need somebody,
somebody like you.
Everybody needs somebody.
Hey, what about you?”

‘Somebody,’ Bryan Adams

He’s not particular about who might help him make that connection- hey, what about you? He’s willing to go through the whole room to find it. I think the ‘who’ actually doesn’t matter to Mr. Adams, which is different. He’s looking for that particular spark- the look in the eyes that makes the difference.

My favorite of this type of song, is, by far, “Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon. They step into the original trap, too, though: their ‘somebody‘ isn’t just somebody.

“You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak…

Off in the night, while you live it up, I’m off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it’s gonna make you notice…
Someone like me…”

– ‘Use Somebody,‘ by Kings of Leon

Perhaps I love this song because it is so clearly about a particular person. Someone the lyricist is obviously in love with and yearning for.And he adds a different wish to his lyrics: I hope you want someone like me.

Unlike Adele’s song, I like to think there is actually a snowballs’ chance the Kings of Leon guy might get his someone. Possibility remains. And that’s both exciting and lovely.

(I so hope it won’t become another link in the Worldwide Network of Unrequited Love.)


I can’t really tell you what attracts me about this species of song. Perhaps it is the veil so clear we can see right through. You speak of mystery, but there is none: we know who you want.

It is the space between the fingertip of the lover and
the skin of the beloved
where there is intensity, but no pressure.

Not yet touching.
A gorgeous, powder keg of a space.
Sensuality, yearning, and possibility.


a finger running along the naked arm of the beloved; not quite touching in love


Yes, that is why I like this type of song.
Possibility, sensuality, and yearning, all rolled into one.

I want you to be that someone. I want to touch you.


Desire has strange ways. The yearning for another has plagued every human since the beginning of time. These songs help us touch that yearning, and stay in contact with that someone. That particular someone.




Mercury in Retrograde :: The Original Beautiful Mess

Two things I wanna start off with in this post:

1. I am not an astronomer or an astrologer. I did take Astronomy 101 (and got a B+) in college, though. I remember some of it.

2. The planet Mercury does not actually turn in a different direction during retrograde. I have seen some people describe retrograde in ways that make this confusing. The planet does not stop rotating and then begin rotating in the opposite direction. (Think about how tough the physics of that would be!)

When Mercury is in retrograde, it appears to be traveling backwards through the sky.

A good metaphor: imagine you’re in your car (model: Earth), and you’re quickly passing another car (model: Mercury), both going the same direction.  If you follow the Mercury car with your eyes, as you pass, it will appear to go backwards in relation to the distant background. That’s retrograde.

Because of the different rotation lengths of planets, many look like they are going backwards, from the perspective of Earth. For instance, Mars and Jupiter have much longer rotations around the sun (compared to Earth) so they look like they are going backwards for rather long periods.

(You can imagine what a shock it would have been to see that in your telescope 400 years ago and wonder WTF was going on.)

Now that we’ve got that out of the way…


The Varieties of Mercury in Retrograde

I have been seeing conversations on FB lately about how Mercury in retrograde has really been messing with people. (We will now refer to it as ‘Mercury in Rx.’)

One woman described feeling awful for the last two weeks, and then suddenly felt as though the funk had lifted – on the day that Mercury began moving into ‘direct’ again.

Another gal described feeling fine during retrograde, but then all her shit hit the fan as Mercury began turning direct (going back to it’s ‘normal’ rotation). She wondered if it was because she had been born on a time of seasonal turning, and so this ‘moving to direct’ – another time of turning – was a weak spot for her.

Some people love Mercury in Rx. They feel great, enjoy positive changes during this phase. It may be the only time of the year they feel like life is ‘right.’


Backwards Energy

Many people will tell you their electronic devices go haywire during Mercury in Rx. But that’s not the only thing that can go haywire during retrograde.

How has your last two weeks been?
Old junk coming up?
People you thought you were done with showing up?
Making you spin emotionally?

The idea behind all this is that the planetary energies have an effect on human energies. Just like all humans are a giant web of humanness -connecting and influencing each other- astrology purports that all planets are in a giant web of energy that is ‘planetary.’ This planetary energy influences each planet, and also whatever is on that planet.

Mercury in Rx is a time when the planetary energy is out of whack- because somebody looks like they’re going backwards. [Side-eye to Mercury.] And humans are influenced as well.


Mercury in Rx tends to bring up the difficult for people- not just their devices.

It is a time of ‘bringing up the old’ for re-visiting. It is often a time of ‘crap cleaning’ emotionally and physically. Mercury in Rx is also a time of letting go.

As a planet, Mercury is both masculine and feminine. It is a planet that is both divisive and integrative. This is her beauty and her danger.

Mercury is the original harbinger of the ‘beautiful mess’ idea. She brings up our old messes so we can heal them- so we can find beauty in them, and in ourselves.



She’s actually quite pretty, I think.


I Love Mercury in Retrograde…Mostly

With the exception of this past retrograde (which lasted from Jan 21/22 – Feb 11/12, depending on your location) my life runs better than normal during Mercury in Rx. I get more clients, I feel more myself, I feel like all is right with the world.

A friend suggested that I am one of the cosmic ‘crap cleaners’ – I help people heal their pain, hurt, fear, etc. – and so the ‘cosmic crap cleaning’ time would be a time of alignment for me. It makes sense.

But this last one, ugh – it was a doozy.

You can see that it brought up old shit for me, too. This whole post on ‘desire’ was more cleaning out I had to do.


Like a centrifuge, Mercury in Rx spun me. Hard.

And all my emotional crap got pushed to the sides of my container so I could see it clearly.

It was painful and itchy and made me want to scream a bit.

That is the beauty of Mercury in Rx: it shows us what’s on the dark side of our spirit.

What old junk we might wanna think about cleaning up.
What we need one last go-round with to finally give up on and let go.
What needs to be removed from our mind, soul, heart, or house/office/space.


This is what seeing clearly is: our beauty and our mess.
It may feel painful, itchy, or scream-worthy, but it can also feel frighteningly expansive- like a scream on a roller coaster. Or like opening a door, knowing (just knowing!) there is bright magic on the other side.

Mercury is still in retro (turning direct, not yet fully direct) for another two weeks:
what is showing up for you?
what needs to be let go?
what will you stop dancing with?


Getting Support

I am a huge believer in getting support. We all need helpand we are here to help each other!

And cosmic support is just the same.

Here are some folks I turn to for wise and funny advice on astrological matters.

Rob Brezsny. He is irreverent, rebellious, and smart. (We love that!) He’s also into rowdy, noise-making soul development via astrology.

Mystic Medusa. She is a little intense for me, but she’s very smart and sassy. Her style is also irreverent, but with a retro touch.

Elizabeth Peru. This gal is my personal ‘go-to.’ When I’m having a tough day (or days), or feeling wired, or whatever- I can always find the explanation in her emails. (Solar flares are a bitch.) She’s very scientific and supportive.

Mystic Mamma. Definitely mystical, serious about her craft, less irreverent than some others. Very feminine and welcoming (that “momma” energy!).

My advice is to find someone who’s style and content work for you. I love Rob Brezsny, but I need the clear information and advice I get from Elizabeth Peru. She just works for me.


Whatever comes for you in these next 10 days or so, may it remind you to clear out whatever is shown to you- and to let your mess (and knowing we all have messes) soften you into greater love and awareness.




Good love poetry.

I’m not much into the Valentine’s Day hoopla (showing love, even in grandiose ways, should be a more regular activity), but I do like an excuse for good love poetry.

Here are four of my favorites.

Love Poem to/from the Beloved

Crack the Shutters Open Wide
by Snow Patrol
(you can find the video here; it doesn’t exactly fit with the lyrics, though)

You cool your bed-warm hands down
On the broken radiator
And when you lay them freezing on me
I mumble, “Can you wake me later?”

But I don’t really want you to stop
And you know it so it doesn’t stop you
And run your hands from my neck to my chest

Crack the shutters open wide
I wanna bathe you in the light of day
And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body

I could sit for hours finding new ways
To be awed each minute
‘Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you

It’s been minutes, it’s been days
It’s been all I will remember
Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow

Your hills and valleys
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers
And in a naked slumber
I dream all this again

Crack the shutters open wide
I wanna bathe you in the light of day
And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body

I could sit for hours finding new ways
To be awed each minute
‘Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you


Love Poem to/from the Body

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver, from ‘Wild Geese: Selected Poems’

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.


Love Poem to/from Life Itself

Just Say Yes
by Snow Patrol (video here; better than the other one)

I’m running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won’t be ok and I won’t pretend I am
So just tell me today and take my hand
Please take my hand
Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

It’s so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can’t be to and fro like this
All our lives
You’re the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Love Poem to/from The Soul

Go Deeper Than Love
by D.H. Lawrence

Go deeper than love, for the soul has great depths,
love is like the grass, but the hear is deep wild rock
molten, yet dense and permanent.

Go dow to your deep old heart, and lose sight of yourself.
And lose sight of me, the me whom you turbulently love.

Les us lose sight of ourselves, and break the mirrors.
For the fierce curve of our lives is moving again to the depths
out of sight, in the deep living heart.

But say, in the dark wild metal of your heart
is there a gem, which came into being between us?
is there a sapphire of mutual trust, a blue spark?
is there a ruby of fused being, mine and yours, an inward light?




A manifesta for turning 40!!

Get UR freak on.

I just wanted to say that because it’s my new favorite song.
(Because #thisgirlcan . Video here.)

But maybe it is the perfect segue into this post – because turning 40 is going to be about getting my freak on.
Yes, exactly!

I turn 40 on Saturday.

This is how I’m going to live 40:

1. No Fucks Given. I am now beyond all confines and cares of societal norms. Fuck societal norms anyway.

Processed with VSCOcam with t1 preset

(What you can’t see is that, below the crop, I am flipping the bird to societal norms.
I know, I try to keep it classy.)

2. More sex. More orgasm. With everybody.

3. Regular meditation practice.  Soul nourishment. Natural brain relaxant.

4. Regular art/creative practice. Which is also meditation.

5. Enough sleep. Because we are not 22 anymore.

6. A space I love to work in! We need new paint, and sensual colors, and golden things. My office is gonna be my orgasm.

7. I step into magic. My own and others.

8. Boots. Black leather. Steel toe. Cowboy. (Not all at once.)

9. Skirts. Found a pattern for a skirt that makes my ass look awesome. Made six of ’em. Watch out!

10. Reduced social media. From 5-9 pm, no social media. Because eye-contact, conversations, games, and connection. Simple. Happy.

11. More laughter!


12. I dance everyday. Just one song. Ass-shaking spiritual awakening. (Go to options: ‘Girl, Put Your Records On,’ by Corinne Bailey Rae; ‘Peek-a-boo,’ Siouxsie and the Banshees; ‘My Songs Know What You Did,’ Fall Out Boy; ‘Lifted,’ by Naughty Boy; ‘Where The Boys At,’ by Chelsea Jane; and ‘Shut Up and Dance,’ by Walk the Moon.)

13. More skin showing in the summer. Yes, yes, yes!

14. A home that is warm, open, supportive, beautiful.

15. I open + open + open. I welcome all of myself, all the faces of the Feminine. I let my layers go. It’s the Year of the Snake, sugar.

16. Travel. For myself. With myself. Maybe a small group to Seattle (wanna go?!?!).

17. Book = published.

18. I step into the self-perception of awe and wonder and beauty of the depth of my soul. I rock and I need to know it. (With thanks to Layla Martin, gorgeous tantrika.)


19. I am going to love what I have, while I have it. I want to thank Gretchen over at Forty Shades of 40 for giving me this wisdom.

20. I will not curse myself. Thank you to Rob Breszny for that one. I have cursed myself too many times. We can be done with that now.

21. Concerts. Dancing with others (group orgasm!). Much of this.

22. Conversations. Deep. Embodied. Authentic. I will find more.

23. Open space. For whatever else I feel like. ‘Cause I’m 40.

This year is going to be awesome.