Happy Halloween from your favorite witch! I hope you are all enjoying the trickster energy of this day as well as having a few adventures with the thinning of the veil between our world and the next.
I dig this holiday- so much magic!
::: ::: ::: :::
Talking with a client last week, I was reminded of how dark our desires can feel sometimes. They may feel almost evil…which reminded me of the character, Voldemort.
For those of you that don’t know, Voldemort is the antagonist in the Harry Potter series. To say ‘antagonist’ doesn’t really do him justice, though. He’s the embodiment of pure evil and greed for power. He’s a nasty bit of work.
Voldemort cultivated a gang of followers, called ‘Death Eaters,’ who performed unspeakable curses, and hurt, killed, and controlled others. [The only living member known today is Martin Shkreli. Actually, Mr. Shkreli does have a sacred purpose; poor dude just has a shit-ton of karma to work off.]
In the Harry Potter series, the characters cannot even say the name Voldemort out loud. Instead they say, “He Who Must Not Be Named.” Voldemort has such power that even to say his name brings great fear. And precisely because they cannot say his name, his power – and his evil – remain unchallenged.
For many of us, our desires are our Voldemort(s).
This has certainly been true for me.
My sexual desire for someone who was not my husband. (I mean, let’s just get straight to it.)
My desire for particular kinds of sex.
My desire for greater sexual expression.
My desire to flirt with others, even.
My desire to live sensually.
My desire to be alone.
My desire to leave sometimes.
My desire to be fulfilled (because it might hurt others).
I could feel these desires within myself, but to admit to them? No. Not ever.
Not gonna do that.
Because it would make a giant mess.
Or so I thought.
The thing is, just like Voldemort, the more I did not admit to these desires, the more power they had over me.
I had to hide everything, even from myself.
I hated myself.
I was frightened of the desires; they seemed so overwhelming.
I wanted them to go away.
I was angry because I had to handle all this on top of everything else.
It was only when I admitted to having desires that I could begin to see how large my desires actually were- and then begin to handle them.
It was only when I admitted to them that I could examine them and see if they actually were awful, hurtful, fearsome. Many of them were not.
It was only when I admitted to my desires that I could make peace with them.
::: ::: ::: :::
What I know these days is that desires are not bad.
Only how we act upon them might be bad. (And also might not.)
Desires are a natural part of life.
We just have to be aware of them, acknowledge them, so we can see how to use them in our life.
Desire can create many beautiful things in our life.
Even the ‘bad’ desires.
But to find the gift of our desires, first we have to be willing to name them.
When we name our desires, we unlock the power that was over us, and turn it into power within us.