For just under 3 1/2 years, my clients and I have done our work in this office. They get to look out this window (and I get to look at them).
Many things have happened in this room.
Birthing of new selves and new hearts.
The death of things that needed to die.
Truths beyond logic.
Miracles have happened in this room.
And I have watched the seasons pass with the light dimming over my shoulder as I write. And then the light comes back again.
When I first moved in, I was so scared of how big the room was. I put my desk in a corner and situated the furniture so it felt closed off. Now rearranged, it feels intimate and I feel confident. The space is open and calm.
One of the reasons I love it here is that it feels the tiniest bit like my soul home, Seattle. When I look out the front window, there is just a hint, just a reminiscence, of Greenwood or the Roosevelt District. It’s a fleeting second where my soul feels at home and I am no longer frazzled. I hold on to that second as long as I can. I re-create it as often as I can.
If all goes well, I will be leaving in a few weeks. I don’t know where to, yet. First it will be my house (but we are also getting ready to move), and then- who knows? The sky is the limit, they say. I would just like to be somewhere grounded, to plant myself afresh.
As I wait to see how things will go, I find myself spending more time here. Just for the ‘Seattle view’ I think. I want to hold that as long as I can. I will miss it a great deal.
I know, in my heart, this is the end and also the beginning. My heart will find somewhere new to feel safe and to hold my clients in the safety and support they so need.