Archive | October, 2016

Trick or Treat…

This is for my friend, and supporter, X. :o) You know who you are. 




From Christian Fabien on Facebook.

How many times must you be tricked without being treated before you learn that pretending to be someone you aren’t won’t get you what you want?

You weren’t created by counterfeit or raised by beggars, yet you masquerade from door to door, asking for handouts as if your bags are not baggage; as if sweet emptiness can fulfill and sustain you; as if the things given freely by strangers will not eventually rot your smile.

How many villages will you walk before you learn that what you want is inside of you waiting to be unwrapped? How many doors must be opened before you realize the only place to go is within? How full can you get while remaining empty? When will you realize that what you hunger for is carried by you, in you?

Will you continue to play at being the living dead while neither living nor dying each day? Or will you realize that you are you and you are enough?

There is no perfection. You are the harvest of Earth and Spirit. You can carve your own being and hollow yourself of what you don’t need. The light is already inside you, always burning.




New Moon in Scorpio :: The Veil Thins

Well, it’s Halloween/Samhain and last the new moon is in Scorpio. I’ve started tracking the moon here lately (with various sources), and it’s fun (it helps me, too!). So, more to share on this super special day of death, winnowing, and the veil between worlds being thinned…

Various sources say this moon is about:

Surrendering to the depths of our spiritual experiences and journeys, especially as they relate to dealing with our own darkness and the archetype of the Dark Mother.

(Who I have been worshipping for 3 years now. She’s not the devil; she’s destruction and rebirth).

| The Dark Mother’s Children |

::: ::: ::: :::

Ancestral energies are present (thinning of the veil and all) and making themselves known in unexpected ways. Patterns of thinking, fears which do not seem to have their root in your experience, financial trauma and sexual/love troubles as well as unexplained feelings of loss and abandonment may all be echoes of psychic debts that are related to your blood rather than soul.

Ancestors long to heal these wounds, but cannot do so without conscious acknowledgement and cooperation. After the setting of the sun, meditate- openly calling upon family members who have passed. Thank them for the gifts of life and wisdom passed to you. Agree to destroy the chains of the past that have imprisoned so many for so long. See the bonds between you loosening, and those issues being flotsam and debris, now burnt in eternal fire. Forgive, and assure love now and for the generations to come. And let go.

| She Who Is |

::: ::: ::: :::

Nothing in this universe remains stagnant for very long. Change and growth is inevitable. The Scorpio New Moon shakes us out of complacency offering yet another opportunity to let go of old beliefs, situations, and circumstances that do not match our inner truth. Quantum levels of healing can take place, if we are brave enough to forgive and move on. This lesson will be brought to light by the Super Full Moon (11/14) when emotional tides are at their peak and Mother Nature speaks the loudest.

Every New Moon is a new beginning which helps illuminate the positive qualities of the sign. Scorpio is the water sign, which rules our deepest emotions and hidden fears. Scorpio rules the mysteries of life…what is behind the veil, taboo, secret, and occult. Scorpio is known as the ‘sexy’ sign, but that translates as inner magnetism and charisma, which can attract or repel at will.

We all have the inner Magician, Priestess, Shaman, Psychic Detective, Dark Goddess and Psychologist, indicated by the house where the sign of Scorpio falls in the birth chart. With awareness, these archetypes can be used constructively for our own healing and transformation.

The positive side of Scorpio teaches compassion and forgiveness for ourselves and others; the right use of power, loyalty, and self-discipline. We learn that true intimacy is not based on control or possessiveness, but the desire for oneness, compassion, and truth.

The shadow side of Scorpio is abuse of power, secrecy, judgment, emotional repression, obsession, control, revenge, and manipulation. Recognizing and owning those qualities, rather than projecting them on others, becomes necessity in this time.

| The Mother House of the Goddess |



My favorite take on this time- the moon and the new year- is from MaryBeth Bonfiglio. Let what she has to say sink into your bones– her voice is so much truth to me. And honor this time of year, this moon, for what we can release. And what we can plant with assurance of its fruition.


Live the Catastrophe

Happy New Moon. In Scorpio. During the most powerful time of year {{in my opinion}}.  The time of year when death, grief, and connection are what moves us through the darkness, which brings us to places in ourselves we might have never been.  In some spiritual paths, this time of year is the New Year, the end of a cycle that has passed, a whole 13 moons to burn and bury. In other spiritual paths, this time of year is when their ancestors, those that carved the blood path of life before them, come to the edge and reach out their wisdom, longings, and blessings to us, the future ancestors.

Any way you look at it, this turn of seasons is one of depth. And width. One that invites you to go down. And within. And In. One that finds you. You do not have to look far.

Today I had my mind blown. I sat in a small group to hear Stephen Jenkinson call and respond to questions asked. This man is like the one teacher you know is so needed in the world, who encompasses compassion, who has the presence in a culture that is dying as another culture is trying to be born. He is one of those people who never answers a question straight or tries to fix anything. Instead, he just tells stories. So that we do not feel so alone.

At one point he explained to us that the word “catastrophe” had the greek meaning to “go down” and to “go in”.

This really hit me hard. 

As we are found and invited to darkness, often times we don’t accept {at least I don’t, because I tend to want to “fix” things from “above”}. Because we know that if we do, we might make a big huge mess of our very orderly, very scheduled, very solution based living. That if the darkness finds us, we might want to just skim the surface and say we entered it but know that we really did not.  Or maybe we just turn our backs to it entirely and prefer to face the illusion of light. And stay the same.

But here is the thing. The Catastrophe is a gift. When things are shaken. When things break. When our life turns itself inside out. When we feel uninvited  Terrified. Not wanting to face what or who agitates us. When we just want easy {really… who wants all easy, if everything was all easy what would we all sit around and talk about with each other?}  When we look around and we don’t recognize the world. When we don’t understand what is happening or how to even live anymore. When things feel so different. When we wish things were so different. When we are swollen with grief but we don’t understand why. Or when we cannot find the time to cry.

The catastrophe awaits us. Let the darkness bring you on the wild ride. Try it out. But the path is this: go down {inside yourself* inside what you love* inside what aches* inside what you do not understand*} and then go within {find yourself *so inside* it that you don’t know how to get back out}. Then trust. That what will happen will happen.That in learning to die we learn to live.

We cannot change things. Until we decide to change things.

This whole big shebang, right here, isn’t permanent. Nothing is. So whatever it is you do, please, proceed with Love. Love hard. Love fierce. And Love your way through, past faith, past ideas, past what you think you are suppose to want.

And that is my blessing tonight for this new moon. To undo what isn’t love. And to undo what keeps me from fully going down and within. To undo the idea that I am living when I know that every second, I am dying. I want to know better. I want to love more. I want this life to be fully lived. For us all. So much.

::: ::: ::: :::

That’s what I got today, beautiful peeps. I wish you all a safe and joyful journey on this strange trip called life. May you be healed, may you be well, and may you have all the love you wish for.




The ultimate orgasm mmmm….

“If you are not regularly having orgasms in the senses that comprise your mind and intelligence…and most particularly with the person you claim to adore…if you are not- and I mean regularly having orgasms of insight, discovery, understanding, and revelation…then I am afraid you are probably extremely confused about sex.

Because the physical aspect is really pretty mundane compared to the whole other ‘lost universe’ of mutual relational ecstasy. And ‘sex,’ as most adults understand and experience it…is far too commonly and easily substituted for its sources. This tends to become either boredom or addiction. Those are not really erotic- they are reactive.

Underneath all of our confusions about these matters, just about everything is fundamentally sexual, but not precisely in the ‘naughty’ sense.

And it’s all just as natural as rain or night- but it would appear supernatural because we have forgotten or lied about most of our actual relational nature as animals and human beings. In nature, nearly all relational expression actively elicits eroto-sexual connotation or carries similar content. Period.

And the results of recognizing and engaging with this are far beyond mere physical orgasm.”

| Darin Stephenson |






There is a meme on social media that says:

I don’t trust words. 

I even question actions.

But I never doubt patterns.


People, it’s the truth. And I am the first to admit that I’m guilty of not following through on some of the things I say. I have a dear friend and massage therapist who asked me for a testimonial. Three months ago. Of course I agreed, but I have yet to write and send it.

I do this a lot.
It’s based in my personality, but it’s also a choice- a pattern.

All things have patterns. The planets have their orbits, patterns of circles and elipses dusting the solar system. Seasons are patterns of life and death- fast enough that we can practice each phase. There are patterns everywhere if you look even the slightest bit.

People have patterns, of course. Everything from how they commute to how they speak and think. Patterns are beautiful because they make life easier. Patterns are difficult because they make it harder to change.



| patterns hold us together. and sometimes hold us in. |


The interesting thing about patterns is that they emit a pathway. When we engage in a pattern we open to certain possibilities and cut ourselves off from others. If I always choose the same Starbucks for my decaf vanilla soy latte, I am (naturally) cutting myself off from other experiences- the pattern I choose emits or creates a pathway for my actions (I say ’emits’ because there is an energy to our choices as well).

When I do something over and over again, develop a pattern, I am more likely to keep doing that pattern. Almost as if the energy begins to lay itself out before I even get there. Were you to watch me in the future, you could guess what I would do, based on my pattern.

This is what makes patterns to hard to break.

Changing habits is tough to do, even when we are highly motivated. The only way to truly change is to practice. By trial and error, over and over again, committing to what we want. Then we do the thing, eventually fall down, and get up and do it again. Until it becomes our new pattern.

All goals for change are long-term goals.

We, as humans, also often have conflicting patterns:

  • we love them, but we must let them go
  • we get frustrated but still move forward
  • we can care about someone but not trust them
  • we can listen to our heart, but know that something else is best for our soul

Patterns may conflict but they are the most trustworthy piece of information about people because people don’t like to change. We are very likely to stay in our patterns for a very long time. We want to preserve our image of ourselves, to hold the pattern, because it is known, safe, and easy.

This plays out is so many human ways: if she doesn’t know how to communicate now, she likely won’t want to learn in the future. If he can’t seem to pay the bills on time now, he probably won’t in the future, either. They have a pattern and there’s no motivation to change it. Only with deep motivation and sustained commitment do we ever actually change. You gotta want it. And bad.

(And if you can’t leave a pattern behind, you gotta wonder why. What’s so compelling about the pattern that you just can’t leave it behind?)

You want to know who someone is and who they will be? Check their patternz.
That’s where the truth is.




Romancing the Void

when you stop

cramming your life

with what matters little

just to fill what’s empty

you romance the void

melt to zero

taste God’s lips

and draw

All that can make

your heart



| Tosha Silver |