Full Moon in Cancer

Check it out! I got my shit together enough to post about the moon on the correct day! Miraculous.

Okay, not really. I’ve been busy doing actual amazeovaries stuff. I started using a Bullet Journal and, damn (!), it works. I’ve been getting things done that are actually changing the world for the better- now and in the future. Which makes The Naked Mystic a bit of a lower priority than before.

Saving the world > processing online.
Who knew?

The fact is, I’ve also had a bit of writer’s downtime. Not ‘blocked’ exactly. More like everything was shifting into a new reality and my writer brain needed time to catch up. But I will write more in the next few weeks- I have got some ideas rollin’ through my brain+soul and some excellent dirt to dish.

All that said, here is today’s missive. Full Moon in Cancer, my lovelies. Apparently it’s an intense one!

::: ::: ::: :::

Below are two readings of the full moon that happens tonight. The first one is spot on for me; I’ve included the second as a counter-weight, of sorts. I’ve made some notations in the text – in [[ brackets ]] – so watch for those. And I’ve also included a personal story at the bottom. Seemed to fit well with the themes herein.

This is from ElephantJournal’s Kate Rose:

“If we want to live and love with our whole hearts, and if we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have to talk about the things that get in the way-especially shame,
fear and vulnerability.”

– Brené Brown

On Thursday, January 12th there will be a luscious full moon in the sign of Cancer.

Cancer represents home, the mother or divine feminine; she is watery and emotional, sensitive and vulnerable. Yet, she is also embodied by the crab, an animal that has a hard shell, but is sensitive to change.

We can pretend that there isn’t anything special going on and we can walk away from fate only to find it repeatedly knocking while we try our hardest to not answer.

That’s the thing about this life, we can avert our eyes, hide in corners, or bury our heads in the proverbial sand—but nothing is strong enough to stop what’s meant for us from coming our way.

We are at an auspicious time astrologically.

Venus is in Pisces so love is afoot; all planets are direct for the next month so we feel inspired and courageous; and now with this full moon in Cancer we will be asked if we can actually handle the emotions we are feeling.

We’ve seen the writing on the wall. We know all the reasons that we shouldn’t leap. But we also know all the things that fear whispers to us when we follow our hearts.

This time we’re done listening. We will no longer be led by fear when what we crave is the amazing.

We will be well within the watery realms of Cancer this week and we may feel that we don’t have a choice about what are feeling, because the point of all of this is to feel everything. Life is richer because of what we feel, whether it’s passion, love, joy, or sadness and fear.

[[ And if you’re feeling sad and missing someone to the point of crying or your heart breaking- this is what she’s talking about. Feel everything. Feel the love. Feel the sadness. Don’t shy away from it. It has things to teach you. ]]

But sometimes emotions hold us back, especially fear. Fear pulls us back in, and reminds us of our place in this great big, beautiful world. Fear recalls our childhood wounds, issues of worthiness, and even our values around self-esteem.

Yet, on the other side of that is a life beyond fear, knowing that everything we want will come to us when we need it.

Faith and fear cannot coexist.

[[Actually, not true. Faith and fear can coexist. And that might be the sweet spot of growth. Feel the fear, have faith in what you’re doing, and take the next step.]]

The difficult aspect of last year was that we had to walk through the darkness by ourselves. We had to find out exactly who we are through 100 years of lessons within just a few months. It was a time to see what we were all made of and if we were brave enough to live on our own terms.

A New Year is only our illusion of time.

In reality, nothing changed as the clock struck midnight on December 31st. There was no magical solution for those heartfelt issues, nor was there a true leaving behind or letting go of anything, because in reality life is merely a series of beginnings.

In astrology, there are moments that seem orchestrated by God—those breaks within the mundane where the magic is able to escape and remind us why we are all fighting as hard as we are. Because what is more worth the fight than true love?

We want it. Right now we can taste what we want more clearly than ever, but it’s not the same as before. Our eyes have been opened and our souls have been excavated. What we’re after is that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. It’s dancing around us, tempting us with its fated promises. Yet still it remains just far enough out of reach that it seems ever-elusive…at least that was the storyline.

Things are different though, just as we all are.

And now, as the planets align, we will be given the gift of sight. Not to see how things might play out in the future, or any aspect of the physical world, but to finally see the truth.

We will see beneath our many layers of self-sabotage and confusion to what is beating beneath it all. Quite simply, we will see our what hearts for what they are.

Not the overzealous beasts that go about demanding what they want, but rather more like the softly serenading cricket. It will begin to whisper its sweet and succulent secrets to us, drawing us deeper into the emotional world of Cancer, and letting us finally feel it all.

But only if we make the choice to move through fear.

We don’t have all the answers right now and it won’t all make sense, but that’s okay—it doesn’t need to. Right now all we need to do is trust that whatever we’re feeling is valid and that, more than anything, the only way to understand it is to surrender to it.

Resist the urge to fight and just surrender—to yourself and your heart.

Surrender to love, and the ability to believe that you deserve the exact kind of love that you keep trying to give away to others.

Surrender to happiness, even if it differs from the picture you had painted in your head at one point about what that would look like.

Simply surrender to faith.

Life has gotten you this far. You haven’t stumbled or ruined anything—you just didn’t know that, all along, this was where you were being led. Trust in your destination as much as you have in your journey, knowing that there is a reason for everything. There is a season for everything.

And this month is the season for listening to our hearts.

 

Cancer-Ocean-Feelings

| an ocean of feelings. all of them, true. |

 

And from Chani Nicholas:

We are the walking wounded. Exposed to all manner of salts. Tears. Oceans. Irritants. Disinfectants. Cleansers.

We trip over the graves of one another’s un-grieved sorrows. Unknowingly. Knowingly. Raising ghosts of the past. Unresolved woe. Stirring all manner of emotional hornets nests.

These stirrings, these little earthquakes, these eruptions of feelings can overtake us. Wipe us out. Wipe us clean of the residue that has built up.

We have no control over what flips our emotional switches on. But once lit, our feelings carry potent lessons if we know how to learn from them. Once lit, our emotions can lead us back to the wounds we originally incurred if we know how to track them. Once lit, our senses can send us the information we have been too busy avoiding for fear of having to re-live the pain we try so desperately to escape.

But, the only way out is through.

How we work with this aspect of our experience depends on our nature and the way we’ve been nurtured. The power of our emotions is undeniable. Our ability to work with that power is in large part dependent on the opportunities and guidance we’ve been given to do so. Developing a mature response to our emotions takes time. A life-time. And a desire to do so.

Developing the ability to hold our emotional reactions long enough to understand them takes practice. We need patience and strength to sit with our feelings. We need to develop the sturdiness of character to allow that kind of process to move through us. Especially if we have grown up with excessive trauma and/or adults that were unable to do so for themselves.

Eventually we have to decide what we want to do with our feelings. Do we use them to justify our bad behavior or do we use them as gateways to greater self-awareness? Developing our ability to detect and identify our feelings is of paramount importance. We have to know that we have a feeling before we can begin to understand it.

The full moon in Cancer arrives 3:34 AM PT on Thursday, January 12th, peaking at 22° of the crab’s sign. Cancer feels. Everything. All the time. It feels what you forgot to feel. It feels the music that is too loud, the lights that are too bright, the too-scratchy tag in the shirt its lover is wearing. Cancer cares. Too much. Too tenderly. Too exposed to walk through the world, Cancer needs its shell. Needs to curl in. To sort out its feelings from the feelings of others. To understand its emotional reactions. To digest all the different sensations that it encounters, making sense of their meaning. Cancer needs to cry. It’s like breathing for most other creatures. Its water ducts are always at the ready. Ready to release the excess of water it carries.

This full moon sits with the goddess asteroid, Vesta. Goddess of the hearth, keeper of the flame, devoted servant and patron of priestesses, devotees and ritualist of all cloths, Vesta helps us pull focus and dedicate ourselves to something greater than ourselves. In Cancer, Vesta is focused on the feelings of the moment.

The full moon sits in a cardinal grand cross with Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto. It lights up some of the larger, more disruptive themes of 2017.

Currently in a tug of war, astrologically known as an opposition, Jupiter and Uranus produce unforeseen and unpredictable growth. Shocking and abrupt, Uranus in Aries tries to tip the scales of Jupiter in Libra’s even-keeled and equitable plan for expansion. Jupiter being the planet closely connected to our ideas, ethics and morals, opposed by Uranus, the planet known for its inventive experimentalism, may inject into the world all manner of new beliefs, both intriguing and unfathomable.

Gas-lighting can thrive under the shock and awe of Uranus’s derailing influences making it supremely important to be devoted to knowing our emotional reality.

[[OMG. Yes. Know your own emotional reality. What are you feeling? Not what are other’s feeling or what do you sense from them? Or how do you wish to feel. No. This is here, now, you. Pay attention! ]]

The moon square Uranus and Jupiter makes the disruptions all the more felt. It makes our emotions all the more exaggerated. It makes this full moon in Cancer all the more emotionally unpredictable and all the more likely to receive an emotional wake-up call.

The moon in opposition to Pluto sets up a dynamic that makes the need to empty out our emotional storehouses impossible to ignore. The moon in opposition to Pluto makes emotions all the more intense. The moon in opposition to Pluto makes it all the more obvious what grief we need to allow ourselves to grieve.

In Cancer, the moon is at home and able to maximize its effect. When working with the moon we can open to our own intuitive and psychic capabilities, heal old wounds and learn what we need in order to feel at home in our lives. Conjunct Vesta, this full moon reminds us of the importance of tending to the sacred fire that is at the center of our lives. Our hearts. Many winds will try to blow us about, much chaos will try to avert our gaze from the truth, but, if we are focused on what matters to us, focused on what we know to be true, in our heart of hearts, we cannot and will not be lead astray.

::: ::: ::: :::

I always get a little anxious around the Full Moon. Don’t know why. It’s changed as I’ve gotten older, and now it feels like someone runs a small electrical current through my body. It’s not exactly fun, but it does help me remember how connected I am to the moon.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling anxious and hadn’t yet checked to see what sign the moon was moving into. But I was anxious about my husband and myself and our connection and wanting to clarify some things. We ended up having a conversation about our connection, what would happen if either of us were attracted to someone else, and what the circumstances would be for when we would tell each other (after we feel attracted? after there’s a kiss? after we start getting emotionally mixed up?). We have covered so much territory in this area- having feelings for others outside our relationship. And yet, we hadn’t nailed down some things in specific terms.

I pushed for that conversation, still not knowing the day was about relationships + home + connection + comfort. The energy of this moon was simply within me, and the truth- the fear, the worries, the mistakes- wanted air and communication. What I wanted was that we would both agree to the rule (or guideline, or whatever) that if we felt attracted to another person- sexually, emotionally, intellectually- then we would talk to each other about it. That we would be honest as quickly as possible, talk about the options (because we definitely love each other more than we need each other), and decide whether to stay together or not. But we would catch the issue early on.

We both agreed, of course.

Afterwards, though, I wondered at myself: why did I want that rule? And the answer was something I didn’t expect.

I wanted that rule (attractions will be discussed earlier rather than later) because I wanted more intimacy with him.

I am the kind of person who reveals herself in layers. I will share certain levels of myself with everyday people, but I will only go deeper with those I trust (or with those who I wish to keep near- I will reveal my whole heart sometimes, to keep special souls near me. Which makes it hurt, of course, when I am rejected. But that’s how I learn.)

In Sufism, they talk about the seven veils that guard each persons heart. I certainly have them. And I only share my deepest self – the one with the fewest veils- to special people. My husband has been the one to go deepest with me, nearest to my heart. He champions me at every turn. And, in return, he gets more love, intimacy, and support from me. He is worthy of coming close to my heart because he loves and protects it.

And what I wanted, with this new rule, was to know I had a safe space to fall freely into deeper love with him. That my heart would be held as I revealed further layers of love, depth, and support to him. That I would be safe to let go and sink into a place of deeper intimacy without insecurities to hold me back. Even if our connection was to break apart, for now, I can let go and love him knowing that I am safe.

This is what the New Moon in Cancer brought me yesterday. In the middle of anxiety and fear, there was gold. And by communicating (how many lessons have we learned as a couple on communication? About a zillion.)- letting out my fears and worries- we found the gold of the deeper truth and the deeper desire. This is the dance of shadow- and shows the possibility of what we can find when we welcome it.

 

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