Archive | June, 2018

Full Moon in Capricorn

Hey, lovelies! I hope you are doing well!

It is a gorgeous day here in New England. It’s dark and rainy like Seattle, but warm, like an East Coast summer. Just the way I like it: hot and wet.

The full moon tonight, known as the Strawberry Moon, is full of energy. Lots of ideas on this one. Here you go!

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Gettin’ ya old shit out the door, from Mystic Mama:

FULL MOON in Capricorn seeks to gift us CLARITY by calling forth the Elder within us to rise.
She invites us to step into our center and meet the teacher within the within that embodies our center point within the karmic wheel of life.

We have in every new moment of the present, the ability to shift what has been and create a new action with new ripples.

We are being asked to embody our responsibility as human Beings and meet whatever is rising.

Not with old fangled reactionary impulses, but with an open presence that can intersect the past with new understanding.

Elder medicine teaches us that cultivation of wisdom is born out of accountability of our actions and a compassionate understanding of their effects on others.

We gain in wisdom every time we step through that threshold. We mature and our roots grow deeper each time we consider the effects.

And clarity dawns her light upon us, when we let go of the mental constructs that bind us, and align with the broader understanding that lies just beneath the surface. 

 

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From The Power Path:

No side stepping here. If we’re avoiding important issues in our lives, living too long in an emotional rut, we just may get a knock on our door with a subpoena to show up for some lessons in setting some adult intentions, clarifying just what we want to build in our life, and set some new boundaries about what is and is no longer acceptable.

Saturn can help you crystallize into new reality what has just been hovering below the surface.

Chiron is squaring the Sun and Moon/Saturn. That’s significant, challenging, and a call to the internal, emotional depths.

When our lessons arise, old emotional patterns get triggered, suffering arises (along with whining and blame), we have an opportunity in the emotional crisis handed to us to step up to this initiation and challenge to learn acceptance and surrender to a deeper, fuller human experience.  

 

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From The Goddess Circle (via FB):

This very powerful Full Moon is reminding us to focus on what counts, what is real and relevant. This is a time to look with the eyes of truth towards what is important in our lives.We are looking at where we are wanting commitment on a deeper level and to create security and foundation. This can be a call to look at relationships, situations, or environments that do not support what we are needing or wanting. We are feeling the need to let go of old fantasy, illusion, and limiting beliefs so we can build something strong, rooted in the authentic. This is a time of great change as the ground on which we stand shifts. This is a good time to get finances in order and to plan for the future. Remember that where your attention goes, energy flows, and this is much intensified during this powerful upcoming Eclipse cycle.

 

many sizes, colors, and shapes of Legos, waiting to build something

Take down what doesn’t work; build something you really want.

Photo by Rick Mason on Unsplash

 

From Empowering Astrology:

Happy Capricorn Full Moon! It’s the time in the lunar calendar when we shine a light on responsibility, maturity, and achievement. And for that Capricorn not only sets a high bar for us to reach for, but pushes us to build something of ourselves in this life. With that in mind, the full moon is exact on June 28, 2018 at 12:53 am EDT, 6 degrees Capricorn/Cancer. That’s 9:53 pm Los Angeles on June 27, 5:53 am London on June 28, and 2:53 pm in Sydney.

Capricorn is the polarity of Cancer, which means that the signs sit opposite each other in the wheel of the zodiac. There is both a tension of opposites as well as a complementary energy between the two. If the Sun’s journey through Cancer teaches us about the importance the home as well as having people around us who are like family to help anchor and nurture our connection to life. There’s a reason that Cancer forms the foundation of the natural wheel of zodiac; it connects us to the very roots of existence.

Capricorn, by contrast, pushes us out of the nest and into the world. It’s the highest sign in the zodiac wheel and represents what we strive for, what we want to be “when we grow up.” It speaks to our responsibilities to ourselves, the world, and maturity needed to take on these responsibilities. To that point, Cancer supports Capricorn, providing the fuel to reach great heights.

When we have a full moon in Capricorn, it’s one of our annual check-ins with this process of growing up, getting older, and making something of our lives. How are we doing? Ruled by the planet Saturn, it’s not unlike a meeting with a parent or a boss and getting a progress report. So this full moon may give you a lot of feedback on where you’re at in life. Full moons also force the issue. They show, they reveal. We can’t avoid the matter at hand. It’s either a left or a right.

 

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And, just because I love them-

Chani Nicholas and her weekly horoscopes 

and

The Tarot Lady and her take on the full moon

Alright, beauties, that’s it for today. If you’re in my neck of the woods, enjoy this rain and thunder and lightning. I sure am! And for the rest of you, big blessings and lots of love.

On the path with you,
Joanna :: xoxo

 

 

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Beer, Baths, and Bittersweet Memories

Sensuality, connection, and fun don’t have to be a grand, fancy soiree. The daily, easy sensualities are sometimes the most fun. Last week I was remembering a little fun thing my husband did for me back when we were dating, and I decided to re-create it.

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I saw my husband the first day on campus at Western Washington University in 1993. He was walking across Red Square with his then-girlfriend and I was walking in the opposite direction with my roommate as we headed to a training for on-campus work. Now, at that time, I was a ‘good, Christian girl’ and super excited to be living on my own. You can see my senior picture and a comparison of me then/now on this post. (Check out the bangs! And the henley! And the perm!)

That day, my husband was wearing a mohawk, 8 ear piercings, 2 nipple piercings, 10 tattoos, some mid-calf, black leather, steel-toed boots, a menacing black leather jacket, and a Timbuktu bag (very chic for cyclists in those days). My only thought when I saw him was, “College is going to be awesome.” I was ready for change.

In the next six weeks I had dates with 6 guys, and eventually settled on one, EWD. He and I were together for the next 2.5 years. We were good, honestly. For our age and what we knew of relationships, we were a genuinely good and healthy couple.

Looking back now, though, I see that something was happening in those years. I kept seeing my would-be husband at various places on campus. I always felt a thrill when I saw him, even as I was getting deeper with EWD and feeling certain that we would get married some day. (EWD made the one fatal mistake, though: he asked me to not grow anymore. Sorry, no can do.) The thing is, I knew, even as I was with EWD, that if my husband -then just a cute guy- asked me out, I would have said yes with every part of my being. All those years that I saw him and wanted him, I was laying down the energy of ‘long-term’ as my connection with him. At least, that’s how I see it today.

So, I broke up with EWD about four hours after my husband and I had our first date. (Yeah, a little overlap there. My bad. We both knew we were dead at that point, though- one of us had to officially call the death, and it was me.) Dating my husband was like all of the romantic movies I had ever seen. It felt awesome- giddy, joyful, telling the truth, sharing with each other, having fun, figuring out sex together, learning how to care for each other. We definitely started out as lovers and grew into best friends. We built our love with truth and that also gave us trust. We were also at that magical place where each of us was ready to tell the truth and work at building something; to speak the truth, to learn to fight well, to be open and supportive and work through the shit.

Okay! Enough musing on dating and love! The story!

One of our first dates had been at a bar where all the grad students hung out (he was doing his masters, I was still doing my bachelors), and he bought me the first beer I ever really liked. It was a peach (peche) Lambic. (This is a sweet beer, some call it ‘Kool-Aid’ beer – they wouldn’t be wrong. But it’s still one of only two beer types I’ll drink.) And he remembered this.

So, one night I went over to his place after work. We both worked at a nursing home in town and the work was grueling. There’s nothing quite like hefting 200 lb people out of and into beds for 8 hours to give you really great quads and biceps, though. Anyway, I drove over to his place after my shift, 11:30 at night, and he greeted me with a warm tub full of peach-smelling bubbles and a cold peach lambic. He gently undressed me, with a suitable but not naughty amount of kissing, and plopped me in the tub with a cold one. I felt cared for, seen, loved, wanted. His arms around me, having him sit next to me, relaxing in the hot water and enjoying the smell of the bubbles and the taste of the beer. It was exquisite. It cost him all of $6.

Sensuality + care + love can be simple. It can be remembering what someone likes and giving it to them again. It can be helping someone who’s worked hard to relax. It can just be spending time together, showing we care with our presence. He and I had a great conversation while I was in the tub and then we fell asleep on his twin bed (when you are young and in love, you will put up with some crazy shit, like regularly sleeping together on a twin bed). That whole evening is one I will always remember because it was so sensually delightful, but also full of love and care.

 

Photo by Abigail Lynn on Unsplash

 

Two weekends ago, my beloved was away with our son. He’d had a long-ass weekend of driving and camping and when he got home Sunday night, he was dead tired. When he got home, I stuck him in the shower and put him to bed. It reminded me of the night with the peach lambic, so I went to the liquor store and got him one the next day. We laughed as we drank it and remembered that night. (Although, there was no peche lambic. Only frambois. Alas…  Also, word to the wise, don’t drink the cherry. It really tastes awful.) We remembered the sensuality and our youth and we looked at the long path to today; it was a joy, honestly.

That night with the peach Lambic happened almost exactly 22 years ago. Truly a lifetime ago. We are different people now, yet we are also the same. I sometimes feel bittersweet that we won’t have that memory again, or that the years continue to roll by. But I am also entirely glad for where we are now- making new sensual memories in our new house (I’ll tell you about the one with vodka later!) and I’m realizing that 22 years from now, we’ll be re-living the memories we make today with a smile, too. Sensuality, care, and love can be really simple and sweet- and I’m reminded of how important those moments are to the building of long-lasting love.

Big love from memory lane,
Joanna :: xoxo

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For a week or so, I got this ad on Facebook for a film called “The Dating Experiment” and it was about people trying to date in the modern era. I haven’t watched it yet, but I found it fascinating that young people (even into their 30s) don’t know how to date. In my day, dating was the only way you got to sex. Even if it was a one-night stand, you had to endure an actual date before you fumbled into somebody’s apartment or car or dark corner and got it on. You had to date to get anywhere, romantically or sexually. Times have changed!

If you want to know what dating in the 1990s was like, catch these three films. They definitely reflect my experience as a middle class, white woman of that time. (Also, one of the things I find really difficult for people in their 20s these days is that pop culture does not have a lot of supportive messages for long-term relationships. Like, I’m glad we’ve exposed the darkness and difficulty of relationships, and having boundaries and stuff, but Dan Fogelberg (Longer), Bread (Baby I’m A Want You), Breathe (Hands to Heaven), Terence Trent D’Arby (Sign Your Name), Depeche Mode (Somebody), Sinead O’Connor (Nothing Compares 2 U- my entire freshman year of high school revolved around a boy I loved and this damn song), and the like- they all taught me what falling in love felt like and how to conceive of and live inside a long-term partnership. I think that’s missing these days- the hope and joy of falling in love and working to make it work.)

Say Anything
People have said that Lloyd Dobler was a stalker, but no. He was a 19 year-old boy in 1989 and he was doing the best he could for the times. I would still pick his enthusiastic, unsure, genuine kind of loving over a lot of other dudes any day of the week and twice on Sundays. He was trying his best and he loved Diane so much. I still listen to the soundtrack. (“Maybe the world is a blur of food and sex and spectacle and we’re all just hurtling towards an acropolis… in which case, it’s not your fault.” He was brilliant, our Lloyd.)

Singles
Set in Seattle, so it’s dope for that reason alone. Also, you’ll see the original grave for Jimi Hendrix in my old hometown (there is an awful, gawdy version there now). But it’s a real look at what we were doing and thinking in 1993 about dating and being in relationships- all kinds of relationships. Also an exquisite soundtrack from the original ‘alternative rock’ years.

Sliding Doors
Gwyneth Paltrow’s life is both drastically changed, but also not, in this film about the difference a few seconds can make in someone’s life. (It’s also one of the reasons I take a long ass time to make some decisions.) It’s great in the way that Groundhog’s Day is great. But also, it’s the dating and falling in love and handling it well thing. Not a great soundtrack, but a damn funny character- the best friend of Gerry (one of the main male characters who cannot decide between his girlfriend and his mistress; the best friend is a true delight).

From the time-traveling machine that is my head and heart- Joanna

 

 

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Summer Solstice :: Sensual Treasures

[[ There are so many things I want to write about right now. I have posts about beer + baths, the sensuality of safety and the sin of beliefs sitting in my head. They will find their way out. I’ve been so angry and full of despair these past few days, so I am sitting on my bed writing this instead. With a packet of Pez and a Mike’s Hard Lemonade at my side (because there is a part of me that is still 12 with the ability to buy alcohol). I am also remembering that today is a very special day our house {personal thing} and I am delving into the joy of that to keep my spirit afloat. I hope you are well, fellow travelers.]]

 

Photo by Max LaRochelle on Unsplash

 

Happy Summer Solstice to my Northern hemisphere peeps! (And Happy Winter Solstice to my Southern hemisphere peeps!) Today is the longest day of the year- the day with the most light. Which means it is also the day before we begin turning towards the dark again. I always find this kind of strange because summer seems so full of light, and yet we are losing 7 minutes of it each day as the summer meanders along. Human perception is so weird sometimes. In any case, these are the things I’m looking forward to enjoying this summer. [And here’s the list of what I was hoping to enjoy at the Spring Equinox.]

the first jump into a cold pool
late nights by the fire with friends
popsicles (orange!)
the blessing of central air
the smell of tanned skin + salty hair
chubby babies in swim diapers
nights so hot you sleep with no covers
the taste of salty skin, the smell of his sweat
the scent of campfire smoke in hair
s’mores
laying back, closing your eyes, and feeling the heat of the sun on your skin
walks on the beach
library days
adventures with the kids
the sweet anticipation of The Big Vacation
the sting of burnt skin in the shower (I burned the shit out of my shoulders this week)
the feel of cold, cold water down your throat, on your skin, after hard work
sitting under the trees, listening
watching the crew team from my friend’s house on the water
sparklers
the feeling of wrapping up in a towel at night because that’s all you’ve got
drive-in theaters
how the heat smells
sweet corn (with lime juice and salt)
the first cool wind in August
ripe strawberries (and real whipped cream)

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What sensual pleasures are you waiting to enjoy this summer, fellow travelers? Today is the doorway to summer fun- run through it like it’s 95 degrees and the sprinkler is on full blast.

Big love,
Joanna :: xoxo

 

 

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Night, the beloved.

 

 

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

 

“Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree.”

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 

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New Moon in Gemini

Well, work was busy today, so here are your notes for the New Moon in Gemini tonight. It’s a sweet moon with lots of power and potential.

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From Chani Nicholas ::

[who also offers uplifting horoscopes for the coming week at her site]

Fairly uninfluenced by any other planet, and disconnected from any other major, current astrological pattern, the new moon in Gemini is available to work with us in whatever way we need.

It’s the only one of its kind for a while (…eclipses are coming).

In Gemini, the new moon focuses on what we might learn, communicate, and distribute in the area of life that it impacts. Gemini is forever searching for its twin. A twin that can pick up on both verbal and non-verbal cues. A twin that will stay connected no matter the space both parties need. A twin that is busy dancing to their own beat, but always ready to get down to the good groves that others have to offer. 

 

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The Goddess Circle, with her clear lists:

Seeing things as they are.
Truth can be hurtful, but needed to move forward.
Question everything.
Get to the bottom of things.
You deserve the truth.
Follow your instincts.
Stop denying dreams, desires, and goals.
Stop putting energy into what is draining you and your energetic resources.
Move away from those who don’t appreciate you or your time.

 

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From the folks over at Elephant Journal:

Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury; therefore, Mercury’s characteristics will also be highlighted and intensified during this new moon. Geminis are renowned for being talkative and argumentative, and Mercury is known for communication, therefore conversations may have misunderstandings and quickly and easily become heated.

Mercury is associated with agreements, contracts, listening, learning, negotiating, purchasing, selling, speaking, travel plans, and vehicles. Therefore, when the moon is in Gemini, we can expect any or all of these things to be impacted. Gemini has both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personalities and can be volatile, so we may feel one emotion vividly one minute and an entirely different one the next.

New moons represent the end of one 28-day cycle and the start of a new one, and this lunar event is also the last of an intense and energetic half year. It is a turning point for clearing out old energy from the past six months and is a catalyst for beginning the second half of the year focused on creating space for positive energy to enter. 

We have gone through many drastic energy shifts lately, which have taken us through personal transformation and caused us to vibrate on an entirely different frequency. This new supermoon brings another major awakening, in which we will see everything around us as though we are viewing and perceiving it all for the first time. This can feel terrifying, as we may suddenly question how we have managed to maintain certain relationships or continue in certain jobs or living arrangements for so long.

Gemini’s moon is giving us the courage to speak our truth, loudly and clearly, and we will intuitively know what we want and where we are heading. We will be looking back over the past six months and understanding why we have been through certain challenges, what they have taught us, and how they have led us to where we are now.

As we go through this deep inner reflection, we will receive a clear vision of where we want the journey through the second half of the year to take us. This could mean that we will need to commit to a dramatic detox of our lives, so that anything that is not aligned with where we want to be when the year ends has to be released.

This is most certainly the time to get rid of any habits, patterns, thoughts, obsessions, commitments, dynamics, or material items that have been weighing us down and keeping us stuck in a reality that it neither healthy or serving us. Anything that no longer resonates with who we are and how we want to be living will start to dissipate before our eyes.

 

new moon in gemini

Dark moon, but a sky full of potential.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

 

From Big Sky Astrology:

It’s so easy to trivialize Gemini, to dismiss it as a fickle, gossipy, lightweight sign. But that is a young person’s way of looking at it, the perspective of someone who hasn’t yet learned about the tyranny of definition. When you’ve spent decades writing, editing, and telling your own life stories, you begin to see Gemini quite differently. Is it fickle to decide that you want the opportunity to explore something new about yourself, or is it a response to something primal and creative? Is it intellectually lazy to gossip about other people, or is it simple curiosity and fascination with fellow humans?

The Gemini experience is like a “road” movie, in which two or more very different characters, thrown together by chance, set out on an adventure by train, car, bus, horseback, or spaceship. By the end of the film, they’ve developed an appreciation for one another and a better understanding of themselves. But usually, the story ends with them going their separate ways.

The late critic Roger Ebert wrote about the peripatetic protagonist of one of my favorite road movies, Paris, Texas, “He loves and cares, he empathizes, but he cannot touch. He does not have that gift.” The most unfortunate perception of Gemini, I think, is that those with planets in this sign lack feeling or caring. Nothing could be further from the truth. But feeling is one thing, and touching a life is quite another. Each of us carries the Gemini gene, and most of us limit our close relationships, instinctively understanding that once we’re involved, we’re less available to new experiences. Once we’ve decided to be one thing, we can’t be another, no matter how much we might yearn to. For better or worse, commitment is the enemy of reinvention.

Each year, at the Gemini New Moon, we embark on a road trip for which destination and outcome are entirely beside the point. The Gemini season is for learning and reinvention, not for decisions. It’s the season of summer camp and internships and backpacking across Europe, and long drives across desolate highways, where there is nothing but room—room to be someone different for awhile, to let your imagination breathe, and to create a new story for yourself. 

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And I love how Aeolian Heart mixes astrology with music:

In the northern hemisphere, there will be a feeling of great anticipation for the Sun’s dramatic climax on the solstice, which will begin the golden days of summer. But this week is the time to prepare for this dramatic shift in seasons.

As if divinely timed, on Wednesday the New Moon in Gemini will become a magical moment to raise yourself up in wisdom and accomplishment. Let this New Moon be the seed that creates the best conditions possible for the next season of your life.

As the Sun climbs higher each day through the final decan of Gemini, you will feel stirred and unnerved by a restless energy. Still immersed in the flurry of ideas, questions, and theories, your heart will begin to yearn for a sense of meaningful purpose. After all, what good is knowledge without a raison d’être to inspire the pursuit?

Gemini season is about becoming a pollinator, a honey bee buzzing with curiosity. But now, all the mental energies that have been dispersed upon Gemini’s intellectual breezes will hear the call to return to the center of your being.

To a honeybee, the freedom of flight and the immersion in floral splendor must be deeply pleasurable. But the true purpose of pollination is to bring all that light and love back to the hive, where pollen can be alchemized into a magical elixir.

Thus, this week begins the process of returning home, to the center of your heart, so that you can begin transforming your new knowledge and ideas into pure magic! 

 

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And now, after reading all this and getting it in order, I can see: there are things I need to let surface so I can feel them and let them go. And then, it is time to sit softly in the most honest part of my heart and feel the truth of what wants to grow next.

I think it’s also time for a New Moon ritual. A bit of chanting, a bit of dreaming, a bit of just sitting under the trees in the dark and soaking it all in.

And I really have to go re-write yesterday’s post because it’s a fucking mess. I promise to never write near a New Moon, while on my first day of Claritin, and maybe approaching PMS again. Jeeze.

Big love, fellow mistake-makers and travelers, big love,
Joanna :: xoxo

 

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