| Yikes! Two weeks, my friends. That’s definitely the longest I’ve gone without posting. I have missed you! I have been prepping to move (read: painting like a motherfucker), took a teeny tiny vacation (friend’s birthday), and managing clients and other work in between…painting.
Oh! Also living out a dream: got to sit in a Tesla. They’re so pretty. They are just sex on wheels. Someday I want to drive one. Fuck that- someday I want to own one. Anyhoo…it was fantastic. A desire fulfilled…that just made me hungrier for more. Onwards! |
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“Having a lover/friend who regards you as a living growing criatura, being, just as much as the tree from the ground, or a ficus in the house, or a rose garden out in the side yard… having a lover and friends who look at you as a true living breathing entity, one that is human but made of very fine and moist and magical things as well… a lover and friends who support the ciatura in you… these are the people you are looking for. They will be the friends of your soul for life. Mindful choosing of friends and lovers, not to mention teachers, is critical to remaining conscious, remaining intuitive, remaining in charge of the fiery light that sees and knows.”
| Clarissa Pinkola Estés |
I was tempted to start this post by titling it ‘Three Guys at Once’ – but that would just have been a tease. Fun, but not fair. Instead I shall tell you something far sexier: the truth.
Life has been so kind as to give me some wonderful dudes in my life lately. Men who see me as the goddess I am. Men who are not afraid to talk to me, ask questions, listen to the answers. Men who share their views and listen intently as I share mine. Men who love my company and gladly trade their time and attention for it (which is such a gift!).
Some of these men are new friends, locally or online. Some are friends from another life, just letting me know they love my work and ideas and that I’m an amazing creature in their eyes. They all have let me know they are drawn to me and appreciate all that I have to offer as a friend and guide.
My Goddess, it feels good.
It’s the old cliche come true: (best phrased by Alanis Morrissette)
“The moment I let go of it/
was the moment I got more than I could handle…”
Yes! More than I could handle.
And it’s great!
It is also a validation of the work I have done to become more myself, more aware of my dark side, more sensual, even. These men share their stories of changing sexuality as they age. They want help telling their story and finding the wisdom in it. They want a place to figure out how to balance their wildness with their responsibilities. And sometimes, just the feeling of resting in a safe space. I feel so honored to hear these things and encourage them in their growth.
Sometimes a safe, supportive space is all a person needs.
In return, I have felt so seen. Goodness, how I wished for that all these years. These men are not frightened by my intellect, power, or spiritual perceptions. They welcome all of me. [Just so we’re clear: so does my husband. These men are helping me expand my capacity to be seen and loved outside of romantic relationships.]
I guess what I am learning is that this is how you get the best out of a woman. You see her for who she fully is. You give attention. You get curious. You laugh and share from the heart. You get vulnerable and honest (even of your fears and darkness). You go deep. And you let her be all of herself.
And when you do that, she will give you everything she has.
She will believe in you.
A well-loved and well-seen woman is a force to be reckoned with. And she will bring her all to friends and family and lovers.
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When they tell you
That you’re woven from too much magic
That you’re impossible
To understand and untangle
And you burn too bright to comprehend,
Smile and thank them for seeing your complex being
Even if they don’t take the time
To peer beyond the knots and riddles.
You’re not meant for everyone, you know.
You don’t need to water yourself down
And make yourself small enough
For them to understand.
There are ones on this planet
Who long for the taste of your soul just as it is
In all of its brilliant tangle of shadow and light;
In a place where you have no need to be anything
But your wild and wonderful truth.
| Ara, Sacred Dreams |
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With gratitude to my men friends who let me be my wild and wonderful self, especially to Neil, who always writes honestly. I love you all.